Turns out I’ve been saving links to share and then sort of forgetting about them! Here are a couple good ones …
at blue milk, “Mindfulness and parenting and criticising mindful parenting”
I also think parenting can sound prescriptive when people are exploring their approach and the approach is very different to how we were raised so you’re spelling it all out and testing it in your head as you write. Like feminist parenting, you don’t necessarily have role models for this stuff, you’re carving out a new direction and when you’re thinking aloud and trying to construct a framework for yourself it can read as prescriptive ..but it isn’t necessarily intended that way. And we would do well to examine the baggage we bring with us as readers to new and difficult concepts and not put all of that on the authors.
from Aubrey Hirsch at Brain, Child, “Why I Refuse to Enlist in the Mommy Wars”
To me, criticizing another mother for letting her kid cry or not letting her kid cry, for breastfeeding too briefly or too long or not at all, for putting her kid in time out, letting him eat this, dressing her in that, or birthing in a way that would have made me uncomfortable—to do any of these things would be like critiquing someone for her hair moving out of place while she was being eaten by wolves.
That is not what I want to do. I want to say, “Hey, Mama! You looked like a badass bitch taking on those wolves!” And “Aren’t these wolves crazy?!” And “Tell me how you’re surviving these wolf attacks.” And then I want to hug her, and tell her she’s doing amazing, and that I’m proud of her.