[originally posted at my old blog on 29 May 2008]
Penny Simkin’s The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions (I read the 2008 3rd edition) is of obvious relevance for doulas and fathers-to-be–but I also wish I’d read it as a pregnant woman. This book offers, among other things,
- an enormous amount of detailed information and concrete advice about what to expect and do during labor,
- the best discussion I’ve read of how to get ready for the baby during late pregnancy,
- a discussion of the important distinction between pain and suffering (pp. 112 & following: please do read it if you’re pregnant or if you’re a partner who’s terrified of labor), and
- a non-scary, detailed explanation of what happens if a labor ends in c-section.
And all in a birth-loving, woman-trusting, baby-friendly sort of way that emanates respect and good sense, thereby beating the crap out of most pregnancy/childbirth books and magazines. It doesn’t even assume the laboring woman is straight or in a relationship with (let alone automatically married to) the baby’s father, which is awfully refreshing! Certainly anyone planning to attend a birth either professionally or as a partner/friend/relative should read this book. In short, it totally rocks.
Perhaps Simkin’s most important point is that a birth is “part of a day’s work for the doctor, midwife, or nurse, but a deep and permanent memory for the birthing woman and those who love and support her. Your role as the birth partner is to do as much as possible to help make this birth experience a good memory for her.”
Finally, a simple tip: “Meconium [the stuff of the first few bowel movements] is thick, black, sticky, and hard to clean. If you think of it, soon after birth, rub some vegetable oil or massage oil all over the baby’s buttocks and genitals. This will make cleaning off the meconium easier, and you will thank me” (339). That probably sounds weird … if you’ve never spent several minutes at a time scrubbing tar-like crap off a newborn while listening to your baby cry and suffering over the fact the you’re hurting his or her perfect, sensitive skin. To me, it sounds brilliant.
One Comment
This is by far one of my favorite pregnancy and childbirth books. It is accessible and non-confrontational and thoughtful and just oh-so-lovely!
I always talk about the “pain/suffering” distinction with my clients during our prenatal meetings. I did end up gently reminding a client of this distinction when she was making what was for her a very difficult decision to use pain medication for a third stage complication (after an unmedicated waterbirth). She has thanked me many times since for helping her to make sense of her decision, and to feel good about it.
Makes me want to thank Penny Simkin.