scary toddler alert

This morning, before I’d managed to drink a cup of coffee (in fact, while it was brewing), Simon noticed and immediately exploited a breach in the household defenses.

Simon is an absolute expert at identifying and exploiting breaches in household defenses. Door didn’t quite click shut? He’s on it. You can work that latch open if you jiggle the door just right? Reporting for jiggle duty. Install a new sliding latch on the lazy-Susan-style corner cabinet where he keeps trying to break his little arm? Simon has observed and duplicated your opening procedure, you foolish grown-up. Keep all the dining room chairs flat on their sides to prevent table-climbing? Hello? You can climb on chairs’ sides, too! And it’s more fun because they slide around precariously and scratch the floor! I’m pretty sure he can actually SMELL errors like a dog’s water bowl left unguarded on the floor. And to him, the enormous and truly fugly plastic fence around our potentially-finger-removing parrot’s cage looks like a neat climbing structure that can facilitate his bonding with said bird.

So, this morning, little bits grabbed our dog’s empty water bowl and headed for the accidentally-open bathroom door. What to do in this fascinating and taboo realm? Simon doesn’t waste time by agonizing over the options. No, Simon just started bailing out the toilet. Because that’s how it’s done, people.

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5 Comments

  1. Posted 26 July 2013 at 1:57 PM | Permalink

    One person’s hazardous behavior is another person’s ingenuity.

    *sigh* I hear ya. Eric and Simon sound like they would get along fabulously.

  2. Ruth
    Posted 26 July 2013 at 3:56 PM | Permalink

    This. Is. Classic. He and his simultaneously gestated friend would have a famous time together.

    • Ruth
      Posted 29 July 2013 at 9:50 AM | Permalink

      By the way, she must have received a secret message from Simon because C is suddenly very interested in Otis’ dishes (plays in the water, tries to eat his food) AND she also decided to rinse her hands in the toilet immediately after her sister finished using it to poo. Awesome.

      • Molly
        Posted 29 July 2013 at 9:55 AM | Permalink

        You’re welcome for that inspiration! At least *you* actually clean your toilet regularly … Simon’s immune system is going to have to be as fierce as his desire to explore, if he’s going to explore in these here parts.

  3. Posted 29 July 2013 at 5:33 PM | Permalink

    LOL
    Our youngest is now nearly four and after more than 10 years of dealing with toddlers I can so relate. Aren’t they amazing. Bless. Wine.

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