this week in pregnancy

I’m super-busy keeping up with work and family stuff, and not doing so hot physically, so I’ll just copy and paste from my journal this week.

15 February

Caught Noah’s cold, so far mostly manifesting as a sore throat plus some drainage yuckiness; slept almost not at all last night because of the sore throat (okay, I did mostly sleep from 2:00 to 7:00, though of course I woke up several times in there as always); inevitably vomited snot/bile this morning while getting ready for work. I’m really tired and disgusted with the proceedings.

17 February

Yesterday I had another bout of visual disturbance from about 11:20 until 12:45 or so. It’s like the moments after looking directly at a bright light, sunlight reflecting suddenly off a shiny surface, or a really intense camera flash … except that it gets much worse from there instead of going away. This morning I vomited snot and bile again. As this did not happen yesterday, it appears to be the result of the sore throat / drainage thing (it’s hardly even a cold, really), this pregnancy, AND waking up early (or not getting enough sleep? or having to get up so suddenly and rush around?). And I’ve had a headache all day. Then I stayed at work late because today was really intense, lots of students’ needs, and I’m behind on what I need to do to prepare for next week. I am so tired right now that everything feels raw and painful. Also, vomit keeps surging up in my throat.

18 February

The night after I hardly slept because of my sore throat, I was so exhausted that I slept three hours at a time twice in a row. Two three-hour stretches without waking! I haven’t had a three-hour stretch of sleep in months, which I hadn’t really realized until I was exclaiming amazedly to Eric about sleeping for three hours at a time.

21 February

I’ve had a couple realizations this week.

One: I’ve been sick and exhausted for nearly half a year. No wonder it all feels so big and draining.

Two: I’m still experiencing the kind of never-been-so-tired, physically-painful fatigue and exhaustion typically associated with the first trimester of pregnancy. We’ve all been sort of fixated on the nausea, vomiting, retching, food problems, reflux, etc. because that’s so dramatic, but I think the long-term extremely low energy level has affected me and my functioning a great deal, more than I’ve really articulated to myself or others. I hadn’t even recognized that it’s weird, that I do have extremely little energy, really. It’s amazing what can start to feel normal, and also how hard people can be on ourselves.

Also, ugh, I’ve been back to nonstop nausea except while actually eating (usually …) for about a week, because of the snot. I know it will go away soon, but it’s no funsies.

[later that day] Visual disturbance happening again, along with headache. This has happened [three other times this month] (and twice much earlier in this pregnancy). [... A]wful and frustrating. I can’t work because I can hardly read or operate my laptop.

So, good times! But the fetus is still very active, and I love it very much.